﻿			   Nevada Jones and the Questionable Bureaucracy
                     

A Jetpack Saga by Zandor, Aeris, and Surlent

	

You are Nevada Jones, a freelance adventurer of sorts, descended from the noble race of
Zandorians. With your mysterious levitating abilities and shiny light saber of great justice,
you travel the galaxy doing random things and confusing people, often simultaneously.
	

You still haven't gotten your damn wafers and broth, but it's all good. You see, you have
concocted a brilliant plan: become the Mayor of Canada by joining the Bull Moose party, due
to it's appeal to the youth. From there, you will infiltrate their culture and gradually
morph it in ways that nobody will notice or care about. Eventually, top hats will become
highly fashionable. Then, you can bomb the fuck out of Luxembourg, which will be easy because
you only need one nuke. You're pretty sure that Canada has nukes; they hide them in the
forest, which is why they still have them. You can never have too many radioactive trees,
Uncle Steve used to say.
	

Good old Uncle Steve. He's an architect.

Architects design buildings. Uncle Steve's buildings all resemble large molars. You have long
suspected that his true ambition in life was to be a dentist, but he was too timid to speak
his mind on that matter and his parents sent him off to architect school before he could do
anything about it. Now, he bitterly designs beautiful teethy masterpieces, pondering what
could have been, and planning his revenge. For you see, every building he has ever built is
made entirely out of bombs. So all you have to do is become the Mayor of Canada, commission
him to build a mayor-palace for you to live in, then carefully demolish it and
 use the
wreckage to completely pwn that
 whiny Luxembourg once and for all, to make a statement.
A very important statement. And that statement is: FUCK YOU LUXEMBOURG! And then you can
finally get your damn wafers and broth.
	But in the meantime, you decide to check out the
mysterious space station Pineapple XII, created long ago by some bored Zandorians and filled
to the brim with inconsistencies, plot holes, treasures, and, especially, watermelons. Lots
and lots of watermelons. No one knows how they got there or why they have yet to rot. What you
do know is that Canadians love them, and so by gathering an insane amount of them and
transporting them via the plot hole ninjas' secret delivery service to the head of the Bull
Moose party, you are certain to succeed in your ostensibly brilliant plan. It's a pretty safe
bet that Uncle Steve probably likes shiny things as much as the next criminally insane
architect, so you figure you'll try and pick some up while you're there. Grabbing your light
saber and a pineapple for fuel (and trying not to think about the fact that you shouldn't be
able to breathe in space), you prepare to infiltrate 
the giant, badly drawn pineapple in the
sky...